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He Said-She Said: Inappropriate Relationships
(Continued)
Is a "God-pleasing, platonic relationship possible with someone you've had feelings for in the past?" Yes, it is definitely possible. I have been able to create some great friendships with those I've had feelings for. However, it has taken a great deal of time away from each other, distance apart from one another and a concerted and deliberate effort (with personal and spiritual guidelines) in order to build them.
In your case, the friendship (using the term loosely) does not sound as if it is based upon trust and honesty, nor does it seem to have a strong spiritual basis upon which it was developed. It sounds as if she wants to have a friendship "with privileges." Why would you want to put yourself (or allow yourself to be used) in that sort of situation? You are better than that, to yourself and to God.
Is she a "player"? I don't like to put labels on people and classify them into a group. However, if she is saying the things you want to hear, is leading you on with her actions, has no feelings for you and you are sticking around, you are being played.
It may feel good for that moment to be (temporarily) desired by the person you have feelings for, however, if she is saying these things to you, what do you think she is saying to her "boyfriend" who she "loves" or to another "friend" of hers? If you ever did have a relationship with her, do you think her lack of openness and honesty will change or will she carry on other "friendships" during your relationship?
It is great God is using you in your friend's life spiritually, but she doesn't need a male friend (nor does her boyfriend probably want you to be) who she confides in. Direct her to a mature female who she can share her past and issues with. It sounds as if she may be reaching out in an effort to be loved and desired for something she may have missed growing up.
You won't be abandoning her, but rather directing her to someone who is in a better place and position to help her.
Your heart still seems emotionally connected to your friend and you need to be cautious to not "rush" into anything, especially when it involves another person's feelings. Unless you can wholeheartedly give yourself to someone or something, you should consider waiting until you can.
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