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Settling for Less Than the Best
“Yep. I finally recognized some important truths,” she said warmly. “As long as I wasted time with Jim, I missed other opportunities to find the love of my life. As long as I was with Jim, my self-esteem was always going to take a beating. I was caught in a vicious cycle of doubt, fear, more control and then more doubt. I had to get to the point where it was too painful to stay.”
“You were certainly fed up a number of times when we worked together,” I reminded her. “But, there were some good things you didn’t want to lose in the relationship.”
“Well,” she added, “that’s true. There were good things, and I missed some of them for a while after I left him. But, I’ve got to tell you what’s happened in the past several months.”
“I’d love to hear what’s happened,” I said, encouraged and excited to hear her news.
“Since I had the courage to leave Jim, I met a man who’s a perfect mate for me. We’ve been dating about nine months and we’re getting engaged soon. He attends a new church I’ve been attending, and loves my kids. He’s not controlling and loves me for who I am. I never would have met him if I were still dating Jim. So, I just wanted you to share in my happiness.”
“I’m so pleased for you, Gini,” I said. “You deserve the best and I’m glad you found it.”
“I have a favorite verse that helped me during the rough times. ‘For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind.’ It’s really helped me.”
“God will help us be courageous, Gini.”
“There’s one more thing, Dr. David.”
“Tell everyone you know not to settle for anything less than the best. Not only will they be unhappy, but they’re missing out on God’s absolute best for them. And time’s wasting.”
“I’ll tell them, Gini. Don’t settle for less than the best.”
David Hawkins, Pd.D., has worked with couples and families to improve the quality of their lives by resolving personal issues for the last 30 years. He is the author of over 18 books, including Love Lost: Living Beyond a Broken Marriage, Saying It So He'll Listen, and When Pleasing Others Is Hurting You. His newest books are titled The Relationship Doctor's Prescription for Healing a Hurting Relationship and The Relationship Doctor's Prescription for Living Beyond Guilt. Dr. Hawkins also conducts Marriage Intensives for couples in crisis seeking immediate, intensive counseling.
Dr. Hawkins grew up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and lives with his wife on the South Puget Sound where he enjoys sailing, biking, and skiing. He has active practices in two Washington cities.
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